This world keeps spinning round and round–and I keep missing it.

“King Kevin Keeps a Kettle in his Kitchen.”
“King Kevin Keeps a Koala in his Kitchen.”

My explanation skills are weakening because I keep trying to simplify how I explain things. Use the simplest words to achieve the least levels of complexity. For someone that thrives off of the complex, this is difficult. It’s a challenge, though. Fun and interesting. I tried to teach one glass a few grammatical things, but they just don’t get it. And then they get angry with me. One particular girl just rolls her eyes and treats me like an idiot. And I want to say, “No dear, it’s you that doesn’t understand. But not for any good reason. Mostly because your curriculum thinks it’s okay to teach you CONTRACTIONS asap.” What?? Contractions? These kids are never going to learn where to put a verb. ^^; Sigh. And I can’t change it.

I have a pair of difficult kids in my Wednesday classes. One for each class. One student I threw out of class last time–and not because he had mental disorder related anger problems. Sometimes I feel like I don’t have any control in my own classroom. I feel helpless–mostly with the really bad ones. Because I’m used to reasoning with a bad kid. Explaining. But how do you explain to a kid that doesn’t speak your language? And doesn’t want to? And the last teacher who was here probably had NO good way to deal with it? Sigh. Impossible. You just kick him out and send him to the director. The director can watch the video. Lord.

I hope I still like kids when I come out of this year. ^^; I mean kids have always kind of frustrated me, but they were always so cute, too… and I guess I’m more of a baby person, but these kids… putain, man.

I am feeling pretty homesick. And the nice thing is, though, that I recognize it for what it is. I recognize that this is the time when that happens for me… I feel like I’m riding out a wave that I already knew was coming. And that is comforting. I’m drawing a lot. More importantly, though, I know that I am homesick for something that isn’t really there anymore. So.. it makes it easier, because even if I said “I need to go home”, I know I wouldn’t be satisfied there either. So I just wait–make a new life here.

Anyway I really want to find some way to scan in my drawings. I don’t know how to do it yet, but when I can I will certainly post them. I’ve also decided that I am going to do NANOWRIMO!! Yay!! For the first time in a couple years! I am so excited!! I already know the story that I am going to write…. 😀

2 thoughts on “This world keeps spinning round and round–and I keep missing it.”

  1. Two weeks is all it took for you to move from total gushing love to wanting to beat their brains out. Whao!

    Maybe they can't understand why you are their teacher if you are the same size with them. But I think praying to the elders is good idea.

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