Well, it’s Friday, and I feel decent.

Except that I have to go to the dentist today, which I 100% do NOT want to do. But that’s okay, I guess I’ll just get through it.

My kids were so sweet yesterday. My Thursday kids are just great.. they see me twice a week, so I have a chance to actually have a relationship with them, so it’s easier to control them, and it’s easier to care about them.

My first class of the day is my E3 girls, who are the highest level that the school has to offer. They are going to high school in a month, and they are going to go away (;.;) but for now we have a lot of fun. I plan their classes, I teach all the material, and they are MY students. When they go, I want to give them something nice… so I need to find out when their last day is.

My second class on TR is my favorite class of little ones. They love to learn, and they’re good at it. I know most of their Korean names, and they are amazingly well behaved. One student has this epic name like Hawk, and he has huge round glasses and a huge round face, that is so expressive and full of happiness. One of the little girls, who doesn’t have an English name, made me a card for Christmas that is still on my desk mirror. Her English is excellent and she’s just a bundle of love too. Then there’s another boy (also no English name) who just has the best most excited face. He just looks like everything he sees is awesome and interesting. They are just the absolute greatest. One student in the class is kind of a problem because he refuses to do anything… but I think it’s because he feels left out, since he was gone for a month and then when he came back, the class and I had bonded, you know? The Korean teacher says he’s kind of slow. Who knows.

Anyway, this adorable class did a story yesterday that was when the evil guy and the good guy had a fight about good winning over evil… and they were so excited to act it out. It was just SO cute. 12 kinds of adorable, with them making their evil voices and acting like dying evil creatures, hahaha. They really enjoyed it. And the best part, was that on the folder, where it says “this is what you do”, I actually marked an X over the Q/A portion, and then went to Sue Teacher and said “we didn’t do this because they wanted to act” and she SMILED and said “oh okay!” instead of chewing me out for not doing the right thing. Happy Maggie!

In my last class of the day, I had five girls who were having uncontrollable giggle fits the moment they walked in. The entire class they were drawing pictures of me and then showing me “Teacher!! It is YOU!” These are the students that just love life, and when I’m with them, it makes me feel a lot better, because it seems like there IS some love in this place.

Anyway… I figured something out. I was wondering about ‘mission’ and ‘charity’ and what good I possibly could be doing here. For a long time, I’d felt like I’d been hired to make the children repeat useless crap to pass a useless test. But after everything, I’m realizing that the point is not to please the other coteachers. The point is to please the kids–and to feel fulfilled doing my job. In an undeveloped place, the mission can be clear, because it’s obvious that you need to assist with food, water, clean this and that. I was thinking about how much love seemed to be in places that lacked development, and then it struck me that I always said that I didn’t feel like there was much love here. So the mission is reversed, I suppose. My job here isn’t to fit a mold, but to nurture the kids who can foster love–nurture the personalities that are creative and excitable and engaged, because I don’t know who else will.

That’s making me feel better at least. I don’t have to cater to the coteachers, or be competent in the same way that they are. I can’t. Nor do I have to “cover my ass” by teaching like a robot. And if they have a problem and fire me for it, so be it. Considering how they seem to fire people, it seems like I would just land myself in a better job anyway. ^^;

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